I cried and I cried...It seemed everybody thought that I was grieving. Perhaps I should have felt guilty for my thoughts, but I didn't. But I remember my words that day...and they have never left me. I was crying because I was ashamed, even so young knowing that something had happened that I knew was...very...wrong... "I'm glad he's dead...I'm glad he's dead...I'm glad he's dead. And when I came through the circle where his body lay, I cried even harder... Yet, even today, I'm very glad he died. So whatever it was that he had done to me, it would not be repeated, ever again. And I cried because he was not only an uncle, but a leader in my church. And I could not understand... And I cried because he was a member of my family...and, since then, there have been rumors of other girls...being...touched... And I couldn't accept the supposed love that he apparently did, or tried to do. And I could not understand... This is the first telling of what transpired on the death of one of my uncles, by marriage. It is fairly certain that incest continued from that man's action... For instance... his son touched me just once, when I was older...and I learned never to be alone with him ever again... I was ironing, having the ironing board between rooms so that I could have the light from an opened outside door, yet still see or at least hear the television. He came, delivering papers, I think. Deciding to stay for awhile, he squeezed behind me to go in to the living room. His arms came around my back as he moved, touching my entire body lengthwise and reaching to touch my breasts...
Unfortunately, those men were not the only ones. But, all were members of the church(s) where I was attending at the time.
You know, contrary to many who talk about incest, I found I had a different response, albeit, a harmful one. First, I'm a fairly intelligent and common sense type of woman. I knew that my first violation was...bad... I became more aware than I ever should have had to become in my early years and, even, into my adult life... More On another Page, of Course.
At the same time, I have shared the first, but just one, of my own personal stories... Because I think it is an important issue that is generally addressed within the church... In fact, I once considered years ago, writing a book called, Sex and the Single Christian Woman... Even more recently, I have figured out a way in which to do just that...
CALL FOR CONTRIBUTORS: If you are a Christian and have been sexually or physically abused by another...Christian, (or not--the religion of the abuser is not as important, don't you think? ...and feel called to share your story, here's what I plan on doing. I will be using my sister Blog, Just My Personal Opinion, Of Course.
Hashtag: Sex and the Single Christian Woman (or whatever the contributors identifies herself as), Tamar!
If you are a Christian married woman, I will simply change single to married... I believe it is important to know that abuse can also happen within marriages... Consider Bathsheba...
You may choose to use a pseudonym. I will be adding an email address soon. If you choose not to share your name, that's all right. I will consider what you've written and share if I feel it fits within the goal of allowing the "reality" of women everywhere. If I get submissions from non-Christian, but religious women, and you include your religion, or if not, feel free to identify yourself as you think of, as the person who wants to share her...secret. I will include with the appropriate hashtag. If you trust me enough to give me an email address, even if created only for this purpose, I will communicate with you if I have any questions, or would like to have further expansion of your story.
It is NOT my intention to provide counseling! I do not have the skills to do so, even if I have the empathy and sympathy to recognize that, sometimes, it can be comforting just to know you are not alone and can speak of your personal tragic truth.
I do not intend at this time(always be prepared to listen for His Holy Spirit to guide you) to ever publish the book formally. I can foresee some copyright issues that may preclude that from happening. Rather, it is merely someone who feels compelled to share of her "Me Too" words, in a somewhat formal, sharing basis. I do reserve the right to edit/proofread any submission, without actually changing the words.
The world is already in chaos... For women... abortion, rape, incest, sex, and children are often the central matters that have affected each individual life... I know it has for me... I know it has for the author of the book, Dusty Rugs in the Sanctuary.
A Personal Note: I have felt led by His Holy Spirit to be involved with today's political and violent happenings in America. I can therefore not project when any specific submission will be published. I suggest you bookmark both blogs. I haven't decided whether to actually share the articles like I would normally do. Any thoughts or concerns would be appreciated. They will be merged under a specific master Hashtag--Tamar If you don't know the story of Tamar, it will be shared soon.
Gabbie prays: Please allow those who YOU want to see this post be open to Your Purpose in participation. For I Can Only Hear and Try to Respond...
* Emphasis/Italics on Excerpt by Me...
1/10/2026 I do not remember writing this post, but it was obviously during the MeToo Beginning and posts were flying all over Social Media that this woman, or that, claimed MeToo!
At this time in this world where the role of women has greatly been affected through government, I don't think the activity described above about sharing personal stories is a good idea. We have all seen that this administration has no desire to deal with the over 1000 teenage girls involved with the Epstein scandal...
But I'm posting anyway, although not distributing as I normally do (nor with others earlier written for my memoir) Women need to know they are NOT alone!
I just listened to the video again... It's perfect to illustrate my planned use of "Is Sex All that?" as a subtitle. It seems to me that through the ages, it has always been women who are blamed, somehow and in various ways, for "enticing" men to abuse them. This story is believable--too believable because it is not just one story that it out there to be told...
It is my firm belief that when God said to love women as you love the church, it meant something different than what has been done to girls and women through thousands of years... and reading the Bible of what happened to King David's daughter was the start... That's why I believe the Bible is NOT the Word of God... It has been MAN who has created this world. Even the story of Eve just does not ring true logically... Don't blame Eve as the seducer of all sexual sin! It is rarely the sin of rape, for instance, which is instigated by women! If you can disagree, listen to the story in the above video again... especially what her family said about her "sin!"
Gabby
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