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| A Cabin Setting Somewhat Like Mine |
Years ago I found this cabin scene that looked similar to where I live. You can find it all over the internet. Some say it is in Vermont, others claim it to post for many other reasons. Me, It clearly shows the one disadvantage I have during the winter season. In fact, for one reason or another I had been forced to spend most of the past winter inside my cabin, which is fine normally, but this year, my furnace started failing. With natural gas on the property, I immediately checked to see if the gas had run out--it has in past seasons-- but my gas kitchen stove immediately lit! To make a long story short, it has been off mostly so I spend a lot of time under warm covers...
So yesterday, I had pulled out a heavy set of winter slacks and two sweat shirts to wear double... Would I need a coat as well? Because Rachel, my BFE was coming to drive me for groceries...
One of the hardest situations I've had to deal with, so far, happened this past week. I had been experiencing some chest and arm pain and finally stopped at my PC doctor's office to try to get an earlier appointment. But when I was explaining this to the scheduling staff, I was asked about why...At that point, I mentioned that perhaps I should talk to my Doctor, but one of her nurses came out and I explained that for about 2 weeks I'd been having dull pain on the left side of my chest. Both immediately looked at each other and said that they thought it best that I immediately go to the ER. I agreed. Soon I was being moved from one person to another, not knowing who or what they did. Later, I discovered that, first, there is a doctor that evaluates whether or not I needed to be admitted. I explained all that I could think of to her and her staff. I never saw any of them again. Because, I was told, that was the end of their part of the ER process.
Next, I was placed in a bed and test after test was being scheduled. Blood taking began on an ongoing basis, and soon a fluid was being given internally. I really didn't understand much of the "why" since I felt like I was being handled in a courtesy, professional manner. That continued for 97% of the people who were on staff during the time I was there.
I soon talked to the heart specialist and he explained the options I had. I was in AFib. This shocked me since this was the first time that my heart activity was not working routinely. Somebody confirmed that and reported back to me that, indeed, I'd had no heart issues earlier. So they explained what happened during AFib. I would be put on blood thinner immediately and would see that doctor in a month to determine whether to proceed with a procedure he had described and to which I had agreed to, or whether I might have to be on medication from then on... I remember there was some issue about the cost of the medication, but I was told that Humana had already agreed to it--if I remember right. I remember I was asked twice about the cost!
About that time a young woman came in, sat down by my bed, and identified herself as the Team Representative. She began asking for my history. I said I used My Chart and it would all be there. She soon let it be known that she needed to gather this info for the assigned team. I asked Why. She implied that it was to be extra careful that mistakes weren't being made and not caught. I got the impression she was upset that I didn't immediately respond to her request to go back years and report them to her. I said that each of the individuals who I had talked to had been recording them into a machine. She got more agitated and looked to Rachel as if I was somebody she couldn't deal with, perhaps due to my age? I grew angrier. She went through her process and then told me that she would finish with a "physical." I responded, "YOU are going to give me a Physical." After all these people had already been attending to me? Folks, I had not heard the word physical used since I was in grade school having to take a physical for the school nurse. This woman didn't even have a nurse's uniform--she was nothing to me as a care giver... I just looked at her... She again turned to Rachel, stating that I was obviously not going to work with her. I said, wait a minute, I'm here. If you can explain what you need better, I will attempt to respond, but I was not going over my entire medical history. She got up and left, looking and talking again to Rachel instead of me!
I had a flashback immediately of my Mom who had once been in the hospital and while we were visiting, a doctor came in and immediately started talking to my sister and me. My Mom spoke up that she was here to discuss anything they needed. My Mom was an LPN and knew she would know more about her issue than either of us! That made me more upset with this individual who acted if she was more than, even, a doctor!
Then another doctor came in. By then I had verified that I might also have a UTI. Only when I asked later did I learn that they had already added it to what was flowing into my arm... Feedback was "hit and miss..."
While all this was going on, I could hear the patient next to me. She was talking with a nurse and explaining her husband kicked her out of their home and she didn't know where she lived now. I knew that she had some mental issues, but I also knew that she was, to some extent, being treated like me...Old, questionable mental capacity...But there was a difference, I knew what I was saying!
When the doctor came in and started explaining her role as part of my "medical team," I then learned that the second part of a hospital activity included a team of people who would be working with me. In my case, it was two doctors. The one who was an Indian woman had somewhat of an accent but I could easily understand her. By that time, I had already stayed overnight. I had woken and soon heard the woman next door waking "Where am I?" "I need the bathroom" "Where am I?" "I haven't been given any food since I got here!" My heart went out to her and I wanted to help her... But I realized that I, too, had not had any food since I had come in. I picked up the meal ticked, thinking I could maybe get some yogurt. I asked the next person who came into my area. I was told that I was not allowed food. Again nobody had told the patient, me...or I gather the one next door...
But during the night the call button was placed on my body, I had moved to my side, as I do routinely, while I was asleep, and the call button had fallen to the floor. Also, somebody had not pulled down the side bar of my bed, on which I could have hung the call device. I was afraid of trying to get the device since I had nothing to hold on to and no way to call anybody. I was at the end of the row and nobody came to the end unless there was a reason. The woman next to me continued to call out "Is anybody there?" I lay there wondering the same...
That next day the second doctor had come and she had said something to which I chuckled. She looked at me kinda funny so I mentioned the young woman who had attempted to create her report for the "medical team." She immediately asked what she had said. And I told her all that had happened above. She immediately said, "You will talk to only me from now on..." Well, that proved not to be true...
While she kept talking, she bent over as if she needed to make sure I understood. She pointed out that I had 3 cracked ribs from a fall I had in February. They had already forbidden me to relocate in any way without somebody being with me. The doctor did care, I could tell that, but I calmly said that, "yes, I probably should have gone to an emergency room that day--by the way, I have on my phone, my attempt to call for an ambulance. The call never went through. My grounds caretaker and his wife came to help me up. I did not begin to have the pain until I went to bed that night. It was the worst pain I think I'd ever had...but I started taking prescribed as needed sleeping pills to sleep in one place and got through it... Now, as the doctor tried to convince me that my ribs proved something, I looked at her and said, "I got through the worst pain ever for my ribs and the first doctor I saw said they were "old wounds" now. I also took action myself to get her to the ER knowing that the symptoms could be heart-related.
After she left is when she called my medical contact, who came to the ER... But I still did not stay another night...
I had one more test that she wanted me to have and I should prepare to stay another night. I said No. She looked at me, "But, do you realize that you could die?" I looked at her. "I will go home and come back tomorrow for the text." That was not satisfactory for whatever reason.
She then proceeded to leave and call my medical emergency contact...
Before long, I had two of my medical caretakers there. In the meantime, I explained that I would have a ride to take me home and if the test could be given today, I would wait for that to happen. She looked at me and said she would go and try to expedite... I thanked her later for doing so... But I really resented that she had asked my medical contact to call me and explain the importance of having this last test... which occurred that same day after all...
So why am I documenting this so carefully? Well, I soon got a letter from a firm representing Humana and denying financial coverage. The only thing I could assume was that I or somebody had not followed their procedures! Who knows... These days communications is, hopefully, at least, but only. about 50% both ways. Not just the hospital but every single corporation with which I have dealt with for the last decade!
I texted Rachel to stop and pick up the letter if she was in the area. When she got here, she read every word out loud. When she finished, she cried "This is bullshit. You were in Afib when you got to the ER! What is an ER for?!" Then she stopped and thought from her past knowledge. "You're not going to like this, but the insurance companies have legal firms who are hired to try to not pay for all charges." I responded "I can believe that--large corporations are no longer able to be trusted in my opinion. That's based upon my own experience!"
And it has got significantly worse since republicans are in control of the government, including a non-medically educated Secrtary for Health who has already caused major problems such as with the measles breakout!
Frankly, that was the last straw. I had been able to keep a clear mind through the ER activities. But I knew that I had now gone into clinical depression for which I'd been medicating for over 20 years. For me, my PTSD is all internal when I'm home, alone. I could expect nightmares, but I've grown used to being thrown back into the 1990s while I worked for WVU. But since your brain chemistry actually changes based upon, for instance, my diagnosis of, Job Burnout. I knew I would be experiencing emotional highs and lows, over which I had little desire to try to control, even if I could. Having multiple people or corporations telling me one thing I must do, while another refuses those decisions is, in my opinion, the worst possible nightmare a person who is very ill should be having to deal with. Yet, medical actions are just as unprepared to deal with people interaction than any other corporation who cares nothing for their customers...
My symptoms are simple: Either I get angry and blow up at anything or everything, or I cry... I've done both during the last few weeks. Not something that is easy to get over without feeling sorry or embarrassed or both...
I will appeal, of course, Human's denial and have tried to document as much as I actually participated in here. What Rachel and Tracy discussed in my absence was reviewed after we had left the ER to pick up my new meds and have lunch. Both of them are able to verify my documentation here, depending upon what will next occur to appeal Human's denial of ER actions I apparently shouldn't have taken??? to save my own life... I hope this record of my ER visit may help one or more of you if you find yourself in a similar situation. Sorry to say, this is NOT the first time I've had problems...
Prescriptions were called in to Walmart so that we could pick up on my way home.
~~~
So, by the time Rachel texted that she'd be here yesterday, I was anxious to hear feedback on Humana. Instead, I learned that she and her family had been sitting with a relative that will face her death soon. It changed the whole day of course... But when she did ask what I needed to do, I said that, if I didn't change my mind, I wanted to have my hair cut. It had grown well past my shoulders since it had not been cut since the fall of 2025... And as the stylist turned me around to look, I said, "I'm so glad to see the real me, again..."
So after my hair was done, I went to the ladies room and headed for the handicapped station...
Somebody was there, singing... and just as I got there, a woman opened the door and I smiled and said, sing a little louder. We both laughed... We both agreed that we loved to sing...She sang a few more and I asked for a little from Aretha's RESPECT and she did a little bit of that one and then asked if I knew another that she had planned to sing, but I didn't. She started singing a gospel song that I'd never heard before but enjoyed...
In the meantime, people were coming in and out of the Women's restroom and I had gone in to sit awhile... I asked her, after she had finished that song, if she knew He Touched Me. She knew the song but didn't know the words so asked if I'd sing it... And I did! Sitting on a Walmart commode! LOL
So, I thought I would try again today, and after working to get my cell connected to my desktop, and eating lunch, I just couldn't do it... So I picked out this video of a soprano, like me, singing the song... And, By the way, my new friend there in Walmart's women's room was also Black, and when I sang the first verse, she asked for more...and I sang the second...
About that time, my niece was done shopping and came looking for me in the bathroom. She told me later, that she heard my voice from the hallway! Knew it was my voice, and said "Oh Lord, she's singing! Came in and told my new friend that she'd pull the car up...
I knew as I was singing because God was giving me the strength and courage to sing for Him at that time and in that place... When I came out I think we hugged. She was probably about 50 and I was thanking her for her songs and I started crying...
She told me, don't you cry now... I said I'd been so concerned for my black friends, afraid of what was happening. She hushed me and said "you know, God has got this." I did know and told her yes, but then I went on "Trump..." She immediately said "God's taking care of him... I responded, "but what kind of man even argues with the Pope?" She chuckled. "We've been fighting people like him for a long time and we'll do it again." "Yes, I know your fight has been very long... Still, I feel like I need to speak out as well." She asked me if I protested... I said "No, but I do a lot of talking online to people across the world, sending news videos... She continued to counsel to trust in God... and walked me outside to meet Rachel and we hugged as friends and neighbors do...
Now as I think about it, I remember that we learn that where there are two or more gathered in His name, He also is there. I felt the joy of His presence more than I have for quite some time! And I know that it was planned that I would get my haircut and walk down to have a little church time with a lady I shall probably never see again. She wore a vest and I think she worked there at Walmart, so, maybe, when I'm there in Walmart again, I'll head to the bathroom and see if I can hear somebody singing...
I've got my song for next time...
Well, at least I got my connection made and a new picture to post, so maybe I'll start practicing and building up the strength that God gave me yesterday, when people out in the halls of Walmart in Uniontown, PA, was able to hear two women praising and talking about His Power and Truth!
Because you know, folks, Whoopie tells us on The Talk at least 2 or 3 times each week that WE are the ones that will need to work to ensure our freedoms are restored to us and give us the strength to work to rebuild what has been lost... But most of all, to be sure to let people know that God, the God of Truth and Love, is surely Guiding millions as we fight our own war against evil...
Remember that God provides for each bird, each sparrow...each of his children....
Gabby
Here are the highlights. The people were targeted by Donald Trump and the republicans after calling the country/people disrespectful names... Racism is stronger now that it has been for since the Civil War and is now happening in so many ways, it is hard to keep up... I try...
It is quite clear that this administration has moved to rid America of Black People... We have seen it, right from the first day of the second term of this administration that took millions of dollars--a very small percentage of the National Budget... AND DID WHAT WITH IT?!!! So, tell me, WHY was Black children targeted on the very first day?!
I fight for ALL God's Children as the Constitution was created to do. Now we see signs and moving backward once again to steal from the lives of God's Black Children. IT MUST BE STOPPED!
