Inside/Outside by Jenny Hayworth Can Only Be Understood Through Reading Her Story... Added to My Top Ten for 2014...
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| I dealt with it by withdrawing even more into the fantasy world I had developed in my head. |
Born 1965
8 years old - I remember my Pop as a quiet man, withdrawn even, and the smell of the smoke from his pipe clung to him like a second skin. He would sit with the radio held up against his ear listening to the horse and dog races for hours.
When I think of my Pop, I automatically think of the bathroom in his house in Perth...My brother and I would be at the house to visit our grandparents, but I don't know where my Nana or mother would be...My brother and I would be taken into that bathroom, and that was where the main abuse occurred. Sometimes we would be put in a few inches of water, and I clearly remember sitting in the water with it getting cold and getting goose bumps whilst my brother was being sexually abused. Sometimes I would get out of the bath and inch past my Pop and brother
At other times when we were taken into the bathroom, my Pop would get the Vaseline...and he would get me to touch him, and then he would touch me...I would disappear into my head...
~~~
Inside/Outside:
One Woman's Recovery from
Abuse and a Religious Cult
By Jenny Hayworth
It is never an easy thing to write a book such as this--although it is the best self-help that I think I have ever read and I used to read a lot of them in my early years... I've added it to my adult blog not because of shame to the writer, but rather to ensure that it is not readily available to young children... Yes, this type of book could help someone who has been affected by abuse, but that should be by desire, choice, and a search for this type of book, not through randomly looking online for book reviews...
Self-Help books have always been of value to me. I think they allow a catharsis for those who write them...but more importantly a desire to share and help others who may be going through similar or totally different situations, but are in need of encouragement. Frankly, Jenny's story is almost unbelievable and yet when you read the book, you can tell it is a true story. Jenny has done an excellent job of outlining her story in a topical fashion so that you can go to a certain issue and reread if you need to. I know that this book will become part of my personal library--not something I do with most of the books I read for reviews...just because I'd never have the room to keep all books that I've truly enjoyed! LOL
When I read Jenny's story, I wondered how she made it through everything. The abuse of her and her brother by their grandfather is a sad beginning to a child's life and few ever forget it...But, I have to admit that, for me, what she experienced as an adult from her church and family was even more horrible. I have no idea how she did walk in her shoes through to her present life endeavors!
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| Just because the Bible is quoted at you, it does not mean the practice is right. Your child doesn't have a bad heart if he or she doesn't respond to a smack to make him or her sit quietly. Smacking might work in the short term for many children, but for others who won't conform, beatings can go on for hours or continually, and the emotional damage is lasting... ~~~ |
Jenny later was caught by a young boy on the tennis court and was forces to participate in some things, but her mother calling her allowed her to get away... In turn, she made one attempt to molest another girl, but immediately regretted it...
When she was a little older, 11, she was approached by a neighbor in his 60s. But she needed love and was willing to participate and they became close intimately. Later in life, she had to acknowledge this and became distraught when he denied everything...
Jenny had been a member of her church for a long time; her husband was slowly moving up in its hierarchy... This church demanded that most of the contact with the work outside world be limited, so that, essentially, you have no friends outside of the church community.
As she married and had children, family problems took over and her depression deepened, especially when her son was diagnosed with dyspraxia
It was at this time that she began to have doubts about how things were handled in church...
Then the worst happened. They had moved to New Zealand for an "Auxiliary Pioneer" program. It included getting younger teens involved. Her name was Brittany and it wasn't long before Benjamin, at five years old, was sharing that "Someone is touching me." Then Amy, at 3, screamed when she had her night nappy put on. She used the word "sore."
Later, they learned that Brittany had threatened Ben that she would cut off his penis with a knife... The Church discouraged going to the police...but she later went on her own, had it confirmed, and put the children into counseling! That was the beginning when she was on the spot as she began to disobey rules by the WatchTower who made the rules for
When she was a little older, 11, she was approached by a neighbor in his 60s. But she needed love and was willing to participate and they became close intimately. Later in life, she had to acknowledge this and became distraught when he denied everything...
Jenny had been a member of her church for a long time; her husband was slowly moving up in its hierarchy... This church demanded that most of the contact with the work outside world be limited, so that, essentially, you have no friends outside of the church community.
As she married and had children, family problems took over and her depression deepened, especially when her son was diagnosed with dyspraxia
It was at this time that she began to have doubts about how things were handled in church...
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| When his sexual abuse had been disclosed, it had been a different reaction. Nobody had talked about it openly, like they did when the car hit him. After the car hit him, Benjamin was able to tell his story over and over, and in the telling he found healing, comfort, support and understanding. When he had been abused, there had been only silence. And in silence and avoidance came an innate sense that he had done something shameful, too bad to talk about... ~~~ |
Later, they learned that Brittany had threatened Ben that she would cut off his penis with a knife... The Church discouraged going to the police...but she later went on her own, had it confirmed, and put the children into counseling! That was the beginning when she was on the spot as she began to disobey rules by the WatchTower who made the rules for
every situation... even though none are professionals in needed fields...
The ending came by a trick. Jenny was called by one of the elders and spent time with her on the phone, asking questions. Before long, she realized that he had taken something out of context and was confirming that Jenny had said "she was no longer a witness." Her parents--her husband--everybody in the church from then one shunned her.
Jenny took the children and left...completely on her own...in a world outside, where she had never been... Her story shows her as a very gutsy woman--a woman to listen to... The only thing I would add personally is that we know that this is not the only church in which bad things occur... My abusers were members of the same church where I was raised...as are many others who stay in the church where their parents go. I've just ordered a resource book from Jenny's web site... Check out her website if you want to learn more...
Only you know if this self-help discusses things that are troubling you from the past or the present... Jenny has opened her entire life in order to help others...Read and Listen...She might have something you need to hear...I know I was inspired by this book. Thank you Jenny for placing everything out in the open--many will find help from this book, I believe!
GABixlerReviews
Jenny took the children and left...completely on her own...in a world outside, where she had never been... Her story shows her as a very gutsy woman--a woman to listen to... The only thing I would add personally is that we know that this is not the only church in which bad things occur... My abusers were members of the same church where I was raised...as are many others who stay in the church where their parents go. I've just ordered a resource book from Jenny's web site... Check out her website if you want to learn more...
Only you know if this self-help discusses things that are troubling you from the past or the present... Jenny has opened her entire life in order to help others...Read and Listen...She might have something you need to hear...I know I was inspired by this book. Thank you Jenny for placing everything out in the open--many will find help from this book, I believe!
GABixlerReviews
Jenny Hayworth (1965-) was born in England, emigrating in 1968 with her parents to Australia when she was only 2 years old, and then moving to New Zealand at the age of 9 years. She returned to Australia in 1997 and has lived there ever since.
Her first book, a memoir, Inside/Outside was published in January 2014 by Createspace. She lives with her husband, who is also a writer, in a blended family with 3 of their teenage sons still living at home and 3 adult children living away from home, now making their own way in the world. She also shares her space with 2 dogs, 2 cats and 4 chooks, and proudly shows off her permaculture food forest and perennial garden she has created in her backyard.
Jenny completed her Bachelor of Science, majoring in Psychology in 2010, and currently works with prisoners. She was in the cult-like religion known as Jehovah's Witnesses for over 30 years, after her parent's joined when she was only 5 years old. After she left, she was announced as "dissassociated" and was treated as if dead by her mother and all her friends who remained in the faith. She is well equipped to offer support and share her story with others who have experienced shunning and estrangement from their families due to religious fundamentalism. She is an advocate for those who have experienced child abuse and are trying to recover as adults, and also has a passionate interest in advocating and supporting refugees.
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